So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
