And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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