i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
