it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
