Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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