I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
