I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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