ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
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im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
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I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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