Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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