There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
