I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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