well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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