pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
