i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Apparently you make a good broom.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
