Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
