He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
