please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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