You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize