So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
