i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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