Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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