I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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