Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize