still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
