The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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