i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
