You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Green mimosas i think yes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize