haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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