of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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