Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize