Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
