Are we in a gay sports bar?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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