yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
