She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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