Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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