there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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