i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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