It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
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There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
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I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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