I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
