Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize
