just come out here and I will go home with you...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
