I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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