Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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