You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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