i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
