you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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