She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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