so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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