i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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