omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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