i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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