Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
