Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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