im drinking this country out of the recession.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
