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if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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