In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
